By mid morning they arrived at the Amber City, which was a wonderful place filled with lovely houses shaped like bheer bottles.
"Oh!" said Dorothy. "Why, it's beautiful!"
"Wait till you see the slanpalace," said the Tin Woodsfan, and in a moment they came to it. It was a magnificent sight -- an amber palace shaped like a bheer crock. They admired it for a few minutes and then entered.
"We'd like to see the BNF," said Dorothy to the trufan's trufan.
He frowned slightly at the little band. "If you come on an idle or foolish errand to bother the wise reflections of the great BNF, he might be angry and destroy you all in an instant," he warned them.
"But it is not a foolish errand," said Dorothy, "nor an idle one, and it is important. And we have been told that the BNF is kind and good."
"So he is," said the trufan's trufan. "He rules the Amber City wisely and well. But to those who are fuggheads, or who approach him for his autograph, he is terrible, and few have ever dared to borrow fanzines from him." Then he ushered them into a large room filled with mysterious alchemical apparatus.
As the wanderers gazed in awe at the room, a great cloud suddenly issued from in front of the throne and when it had disappeared there sat an ancient fan, looking at them sternly.
"Well," he said, "what do you want?"
At the sound of his voice, the Cowardly Lion ran behind Dorothy, but she drew herself up and said, "We've come to ask your help. You see, I came to Iz in a big cyclone, and I've got to get back to the outside fandom." And she told the BNF about her friends.
"Yes, I see you have a problem," said the BNF. "But of course you know that BNFs never do anything for ordinary fans unless they first do something for us."
Dorothy's companions assured her that this was the accepted procedure. "We have to plant an ob with him first," said the Lion, "and Ghu only knows what frightening thing he'll want us to do."
They all fell silent, and in a moment the BNF said, "In the outskirts of the Fraudling County, near the border of Iz, there is a terrible witch who is always casting spells and hoaxing everyone."
"I've heard of her," whispered the Tin Woodsfan to Dorothy. "She's a bloody provincial."
"I want you to liquidate her," said the BNF,
"But how can we do that?" asked the Lion. "We aren't wizards or anything, and we can't even play tricks with words the way you can." (For it was well known the way the BNF could make puns).
"She has a weakness," said the BNF. He leaned closer. "She's a nonfan," he whispered.
"No!" exclaimed the Scarecrow, astounded. "A nonfan? In Iz?"
The BNF shook his head sadly. "I know; it's sad, very sad. Hereditary, you know. But we can't have nonfans all over Iz, cluttering up the place."
Dorothy was puzzled. "But what is her weakness?" she said. "Just because she is a nonfan --"
"Her weakness is Blog," said the BNF.
"Oh, that's my weakness too," Dorothy giggled. "Why, when I drink Blog --"
"But to her it's fatal," said the BNF. "If it touches her she melts!"
"It's the universal nonfannish solvent," the Lion explained.
"Now, I'll give you a jar of Blog," said the BNF, "and if you can just pour it over her --"
"POOF!" chortled the Tin Woodsfan.
The four adventurers were given a room in the slanpalace for the night and told that they would get their Blog in the morning so that they could set out. As Dorothy lay in her bed that night she found herself thinking excitedly of the adventures before them. But one thing kept returning to puzzle her. "I wonder what nonfans keep Blog in," she mused, until at last she fell asleep.
(Data entered by Judy Bemis)