MAY 3, 1962 MEETING OF THE NAMELESS ONES
During the warm-up for the May 3, 1962 meeting of the Nameless Ones, a number of discussions and events took place that, at first glance, seemed completely unrelated to each other or to the club. Subsequent glances seemed to confirm this suspicion.
Preliminary discussions included mention of Farmer's, "The Alley God," which goes to show how dangerously close the club comes to mentioning science fiction from time to time. Jerry Frahm went into the political aspects of Fafnir, Malcolm Willits' dozen-cylindered Cadillac that has been running for the Oregon State Legislature. Jerry concluded that Fafnir must be a Democrat because it has a thirty gallon gas tank. Doreen Webbert had little to add to the conversation, being involved as she was in re-assembling Wally Gonser's much-tortured hexa-hexa-flexagon, until Wally Gonser somehow arrived at the erroneous conclusion that she was knitting three socks. "I'm not knitting them for you," was the way she corrected him.
Gordon Eklund sneakily opened the meeting at 8:47:45 p.m., just in time to include Don Mills' heart-rending story as part of the proceedings. Earlier in the day, Don explained, he had applied for a job at Boeing, received a parking ticket, had one automobile impounded, and made innumerable trips between downtown Seattle and the northern part of the city, often without benefit of the use of his car.
The club proved to be extremely sympathetic and equally unhelpful. Many suggestions for retaliation were made, any of which, if successfully carried out, would have resulted in Don, himself, being impounded for several years in city, county, state, or federal institutions. The brunt of this proposed retaliation would have been bourne by a motorcycle policeman who had the misfortune of living too near one of the Nameless members' residence. The plans eventually centered about various ways of gimmicking the officer's motorcycle, and when one of the plans involved connecting the motorcycle to a solid object with a length of wire calculated to become taut when the motorcycle had a chance to build up maximum speed, Ed Wyman earned himself a 5¢ contribution to the pun fund by insisting it be a copper wire.
While on the subject of harmless practical jokes, Wally Gonser contributed a remarkable list of ways to prepare homes for the return of honeymooners. Among other things, it included pouring gelatin in a water-filled bathtub, wiring the bed springs to the front porch light, and filling the bathroom from floor to ceiling with crushed newspapers. The extreme detail with which these plans had been worked out suggested they had all seen practical application at least once, and one immediately realizes why Wally Gonser is a confirmed bachelor -- he wouldn't dare get married.
Eventually there came the moment of truth for the Secretary-Treasurer. The minutes were read and disagreed with. Doreen insisted that she repaired Phil's flexagon before throwing it back at him, and she furthermore insisted that puns were not discounted at 3 for a dime, but remained a nickel each. Also, it was complained, it had been voted that the minutes be, not were. The rest of the club, with the notable exception of the Secretary-Treasurer, grumbled approval at this disapproval, and it was the general opinion that the Secretary-Treasurer should recall all copies of the May 1962 CRY and revise the minutes. Eventually the club voted that the minutes be moved.
The Secretary-Treasurer reported $28.65 in the treasury, but nobody seemed impressed.
Ed Wyman suggested that the club hold its next meeting at his new home, and the club immediately agreed. Ed apparently had never been forgiven for his copper wire routine.
Some discussion was given to placing an ad in the Chicon program booklet, but nobody could come up with a suggestion as to what the club should advertise. For want of a decision, the meeting adjourned at 10:13:30 p.m.
Hon S/T - Wally W.
MAY 17, 1962 MEETING OF THE NAMELESS ONES
The May 17, 1962 meeting of the Nameless Ones may or may not have been opened, but at any rate it took place at 929 N. 82nd, the newly inhabited residence of one Ed Wyman, the like of which there is none other. The house was thoroughly inspected by the membership and secretly approved, although audible remarks centered around its lack of protection from atomic blasts, earthquakes, and Nameless meetings.
Norm Dalke showed up with almost 200 science fiction magazines, which he sold to Wally Weber for a total of $5. Norm was getting rid of the magazines as part of the process of moving into a new house. Also a part of moving into a new house involved selling his old 5-bedroom house for $15,000 (approximately), but the club treasury was getting low and the members weren't agreeable to a special assessment, so Wally Weber didn't buy the house. Norm described his old house as best he could before having to leave the meeting so he could move out of it, and in doing so he mentioned the 120,000 B.t.u. furnace that heats the place. This led to a highly scientific discussion on how long it took the furnace to heat sixty tons of water one degree Fahrenheit, which led to a less scientific discussion of steam engines and locomotives, which finally led to a completely unscientific discussion of television.
Geneva and Marge Wyman handed out a full, multi-course meal to the attendees which was enjoyed by all with the possible exception of Linda Wyman, who was quarantined in the back of the house with some impending plague that wanted to wipe out human life here on Earth. While we were on the subject of heat transfer, Ed had his wife display the aluminum nails she used to bake potatoes all the way through.
The subject of automobile cranks (the tool once used to start cars in the Old Days, not the people who drive cars in heavy Seattle traffic) came to the fore, and this led, naturally enough, for a Nameless meeting, to batteries and emergency lighting systems to (don't ask how) the bank on the Century-21 Fairgrounds, to marked money, to Loomis trucks.
Jerry Frahm recalled the wedding of Ron and Carlene McBeth and how the punch for same had been mixed in a Speed Queen washer, and a whole new train of conversation developed that found the club members quite informed on such matters as bottling champagne and preparing home brew. Ed Wyman reported on the hazards of home brew by describing the traumatic experience of one acquaintance of his (nobody you know, you jumping-at-conclusions readers you) who aged his brew by storing behind the bathtub. One quiet evening while the brewmaster was sharing water with his wife in the tub, an exploding bottle set off a chain reaction of bottle explosions causing ruin and destruction far beyond mere physical damage.
Prohibition was the connecting link between that discussion and the one that followed on Fafnir, the padlocked Cadillac, and how locked doors are usually most easy to open at the hinged side.
It was discovered that Wally Weber was the only member attending the meeting who had seen the Science Fiction Panel at the Century-21 Opera House, and he was mercilessly pumped for information about the Opera House.
Ed Wyman reported that The Menace was retracting its suggestion for a '63 Westercon in Seattle due to opposition from the states of California and Washington. Most of the attendees had heard of Westercons, but hadn't realized Seattle had been in contention for one. There seemed to be no objections by the club to either having or not having a Westercon in Seattle in '63.
Gordon Eklund wouldn't adjourn the meeting until the club decided where to hold its party May 31. In order to be able to leave (Gordy was guarding one exit with The Bone, and Linda had The Plague covering the other way out) the club quickly decided to meet the 31st at Stumphouse.
The meeting was adjourned at 11:38:30 p.m.
H. Sec-T, Wally Weber
NEXT ISSUE: Expose of the May 31 party where Elmer Perdue meets Phil Jaskar, Varda Murrell develops mental telepathy, Charles Murrell follows directions, Ed Wyman rests his case, Ian Robertson crams for exams, and Webbert Seacon slides see light.
Data entry by Judy Bemis
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