H  With the spread of the expression "ghod", and perhaps as a carryover 
   from the trend noted under "G", addition of an H after the initial letter
of a word came to mean, or at least imply, "pertaining to fandom", as in
Lhiterature and Bheer.  When spoken, such aspirates are voiced:  Luh-HIT-er-a-
ture, Buh-HEER.
         An orphan sound, having no companion sound like nearly every other
consonant has.  Let's shed a tear and pass on to the definitions.

HACKS  Writers who, to get quantity production, rehash old ideas and strew 
       them with such stock pieces as BEMs and PSDs.  Fans are tolerant of the
hacks who have to do it for a living, but who turn out an occasional
outstanding story; but no mercy is shown to the old Palmer stable and others
who may occasionally do fair work but 99% of the time are working over the old
Save-the-Earth and There-Are-Limits-Beyond-Which-We-Aren't-Meant-To-Go themes
-- not to mention (no, please don't!) the running into the well-known ground
of the Crafty Earthmen Outwit Stupid Aliens plot, or the dressed-up mundanes.

HAIRCREAM  One of the most resented of the idiot-child capers that disendeared
           7th Fandom to the more adult stfnists was the SFCon scene when Pete
Vorzimer made Burt Satz drink some of this useful but misplaced beverage. 
Satz was clowning to get attention and claiming that he had to have a drink;
when nobody would give him any liquor, he said he'd drink some Wildroot Cream
Oil.  After a sufficiency of this Vorzimer and company made him go thru with
it.  (He drank only a drop or two.)  Some accounts have made it appear that
the whole thing was Vorzimer's idea from the first, but 'tain't so.

HALF WORLD  (Heinlein:Burbee)  The LASFS.  In Heinlein's Magic, Inc the 
            Half World was the domain of, uh, nature inhabited by demons,
spirits, gnomes, fairies, ktp.  The Insurgents used the designation in
contempt for the LASFans' retreat from life, but the modern revived group in
LA uses it in humorous self-designation.

HANDSTITCHED  For obvious reasons this method of fastening the pages of a 
              fanzine together is rarely met with, but 'tis said the most
primitive multipage fanzine is hektoed and handstitched.  Charles Wells once
went this formula one better by writing out the masters for a fanzine in
longhand, then hektoing and handstitching the product.

HANG FROM THE CEILING AND DRIP GREEN  (Matheson:Rapp)  Objurgation -- meaning,
                                      roughly, "go soak your head" -- from
"Born of Man and Woman"; given fannish currency by its use in the battles
between the DSFL and the Wolverine Insurgents.

HARRISON  (Hurstmonceaux:Triode)  The mainstay and chief support of the 
          British Empire, tho such people as Churchill, Montgomery, Tovey,
Cunningham et al filled star supporting roles.  Triode ran a lengthy series,
Beloved Is Our Destiny, which revealed the part played by Harrison in a few of
his less important deeds such as saving Asia, America, Europe, Africa and
other areas of the world from menaces like plague, revolution, nuclear
warfare, usw.  His more vital accomplishments cannot be discussed in a public
document.

HEESH  He or shee... er, she.

HEKTO  A means, more or less, of reproduction.  The basic hekto is a pan of 
       rather firm gelatin; a master copy prepared with special hekto carbons
or hekto ink is placed on this, and much of the pigment on the latter is 
deposited on the former.  Sheets for copy are placed face down on this,
smoothed out, and then removed; on each one some of the ink comes off --
enough, you hope, to make a legible copy.  As the Greek root 'ekatos suggests
100 copies may be obtained in theory; but experience warns that after about
70, "copies" begin to resemble paper with an unusually large water-mark. 
Legible limit is about 50 (the original FAPA membership limit was determined
thusly), best color for long runs being the well-known purple [methyl violet]. 
All the colors of ditto can be used by hekto, plus some delicate shades
available in hekto pencil form which don't hold up for the spirit process. 
Besides the primitive pan hekto, various film (gelatin on stiff paper) devices
and mechanical gadgets for applying the paper smoothly to the jelly are
available, but hardly worth it; they don't increase the length of the run.

HEKTOGRAPHER'S HANDS  is a strange malady afflicting users of the above 
                      process.  Handle hekto carbons, inks, pencils, ribbons
ever so carefully, yet smudges of purple will appear on the ends of the
fingers, and by some mysterious process spread to the backs of the hands and
up the inner side of the forearm.  Then, tho the hektoer never touch his face
with arms or hands, purple splotches will break out on the nose and one cheek,
and on the nape of the neck, tho he can't see it there.  What is more, the dye
will spread to all light-colored woodwork in the room, and deposit in an
uneven film over the lavatory when he tries to wash.  The Ditto company puts
out a soap which is supposed to ease the condition, but really it comes off
only when the skin does.

HELICOPTER BEANIE  The badge of a juvenile-type fan, popularized several years
                   ago when the propellor-topped hats were an adolescent fad. 
Actual helicopter beanies are a rare sight nowadays, but the stereotype of a
juvenile fan is a wight wearing a helicopter beanie, carrying a zapgun, and
exclaiming goshwowboyoboy in his enthusiasm for stf.  Ghak.

HERMIT  Nickname once frequent among fans because of their introvert
        characteristics.  The Hermit of Hagerstown is Harry Warner, who has
met many fans, but never a one outside Hagerstown; the Hermit who wrote for
Larry Shaw's mags was Larry Shaw (look for the big red letters on the cave).

HIERONYMUS MACHINE  What Campbell took up after he'd lived down Dianetics,
                    proving something about that proverb anent burnt fools
shunning the fire.  The Hieronymus machine is a wonderful collection of
circuitry by means of which the adept can analyze ores, alloys, and such
things; one inserts the specimen, twiddles the dials 'n all, and gets a sticky
feeling on an attached plate of "insulating material"... or doesn't, if he
happens not to have the Gift.  The machine is supposed to work fine even if
you only have a photograph of the stuff you're assaying (without even
indicating an abnormally high silver content), and Campbell claims that the
machine works just as well as ever if, instead of silly old expensive parts, a
pen-and-ink drawing of the circuit is used between the specimen and the
detecting plate.  (This isn't unlikely.)  Martin Alger is reputed to have made
vast sums by taking advantage of the machine's method of detection. 
Algeristic Hieronymus machines were modified so that lecherous young fen who
used them found that the plate, properly tuned, didn't feel as if it were
sticky...

HILY MAGNIFIED WOGGLE-BUG  (Baum:Tucker/Speer)  Jack Speer, from his 
                           intellectual and critical interests.  Speer took
this up enthusiastically when Tuck tagged him with it, tho, being one of the 
few fen of his generation not brought up on the Oz books, he didn't know its
source till recently.  It's sort of critical, for the Woggle-Bug, in Baum's
stories, was always showing off his knowledge with horrid puns that made
bystanders moan and turn green.

HISS   HC Konig made a hobby of collecting quotations from stories in which
       characters are supposed to "hiss" sentences ("Don't come near me, you
brute!") in which most people couldn't find anything to hiss.  He then became
known as The Old Hisser himself.  Later, Wollheim pointed out that Heck had
been too thoro; he had collected so many examples that what he proved was not
that the writers were careless, but that "hiss" had a meaning ("-to speak with
whispered sinister intent"-) lexicographers had neglected to note.

HISTORY  For that of our little microcosm, you are referred to such entries as
         that for Fandom and Conventions.  In various fan groups historical
series have been presented from time to time, as Harry Warner's "When We Were
Very Young" and Dan McPhail's "From Out of the Past" articles in FAPA, Wrai
Ballard's "Tiny Acorn" in SAPS, and Warner's "All Our Yesterdays" in general
fanmags.

HISTORY OF THE FUTURE  (1) A project first suggested by Rothman, to be 
                       undertaken by some general fan organization.  The idea
was to go thru all fantasy stories and, when some approximate date in the
future can be fixed for an incident, make a file card on it; eventually these
would be arranged by year and the result published.  A start on the job was
made by Elmer Perdue, who limited himself to cases in which actual dates were
given in the story.  The idea comes from (2) the history of the future
sketched out by Robert A Heinlein for some thousands of years to come.  This
(detailed on the end-papers of many of his books) was one of the first cases
of an author actually constructing and explaining a background for an entire
cycle of "prophetic" stories, tho of course many authors have developed
consistent segments of the future in various series.  Poul Anderson later
forecast a future history of his own, differing in many particulars from
Heinlein's.  Both caught the fannish imagination for obvious reasons.

HOAXES  Since most of the contacts in fandom are by mail, it is very easy to
        put something over on the fans for a while, tho almost impossible to
keep a secret permanently, or for as much as a year.  The most successful
hoaxes in fandom have been establishment of penames, like Carl Brandon, Joan
Carr, and John A Bristol, as being an actual person.  Such tricks have made
fans wary, so that each newcomer is scrutinized suspiciously to see whether he
looks phony in any way, or whether his address or writing style suggests some
known fan.  On occasion quite genuine people like Boyd Raeburn and Dick Eney
have been accused of nonexistence.  Other hoaxes in fandom have included the
pseuicide, Tucker and Willis Death Hoaxes, and Odd Tales.  Not exactly hoaxes
are things like Lee Hoffman's pre-NOLaCon existence.

HOME OF THE ORIGINAL HELICOPTER BEANIE  The Michigan area.  The MSFS-DSFL.  
                                        Ray Nelson discovered it to fandom
here, George Young wore it to conventions, and Art Rapp's SPACEWARP ran
Nelson's cartoons popularizing it.

HONORARY STAMP CRITTUR  Walt Willis was created one on his visit to the United
                        States in 1952.  The certificate, as he tells it, once
saved him from a fate including death but rather worse than ordinary
extinction.

HUCKSTER  A person sufficiently foolhardy degraded to try and 
         make money from stf.  Sellers of books & proz, etc.

HUGO  (Madle)  The International Fantasy Award, named after Hugo Gernsback & 
      by analogy with mundane Oscars, Emmys, etc.  Hal Lynch and Bob Madle
brainstormed this annually presented set of commendations at the PhilCon II;
they are presented by a committee to top fanzines, proz, artists, ktp, at the
Worldcon.  The poll selecting winners in the various categories is perhaps the
only fan poll which still produces results reflecting general fan attitudes,
thanks to its size.

HUMOR  Fans excel at humor, relative to the mundane people.  Burlesques 
       pedigree back to Hornig's Wonder Stories, as does fan fiction. 
Cartoons are usually humorous.  Puns and similar witticisms are irrepressibly
scattered all thru fan writings, even the most sercon.  Magazines devoted
entirely to humor, however, have not fared well; apparently fans don't dig
people walking up and saying "-this is funny:..."- before telling their story.
         Fan humor is of a sophisticated sort, strongly characterized by double
inversion, and often bordering on the Shaggy Dog.  The MFS Silly Story should
be mentioned.  With a few exceptions, funny stuff published in fanzines is
clean; your chronicler wouldn't know about that in correspondence or
conversation, being a humorless prudish clod who doesn't listen to such
things.

HURT LOOK  (Alger)  That's what you'll get if you foul up George H Young.

HYPERSPACE  Literally a space of more than three dimensions; conventionally,
            what you traverse when you go thru a space warp.  Practically,
it's the same thing as subspace: an imaginary miniature universe in which
inconvenient natural laws like the light-speed limit on velocity need not
apply.  And John Magnus once organized a group of this name, the Hopeful Young
People's Extra Radical Society for Promoting Amiable Conditions Everywhere.

HYPHEN  (Madeleine Willis)  "A fanzine", defines Chuck Harris laconically, 
        "First issue May 1952".  It was co-edited by Walt Willis and Harris,
but was really more or less the product of the group known as the Oblique
Angles.  It became a focal point for a lot of people on the fringe of fandom
as well as within it, succeeding QUANDRY as Zeitgeistsprecher of the old Sixth
Fandomites who opposed 7th Fandom during the Sixth Transition.  It influenced
Anglofandom (and US Fandom) muchly by its amiably irreverent attitude toward
fandom and stf in general -- the "Serious Constructive Insurgentism" of Walt
Willis' which found its most perfect, if not most typical, expression in THE
HARP STATESIDE and such other works as THROUGH DARKEST IRELAND and THE
ENCHANTED DUPLICATOR.  "Neither Walt nor I cared for the name when Madeleine
coined it," Chuck explains, "but now we think it's about perfect and wouldn't
change it for anything."

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