@@@@@ @ @ @@@@@ @ @ @@@@@@@ @ @ @@@@@ @@@@@ @@@
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @
@ @@@@@ @@@@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @
@ @ @ @@@@@ @ @ @ @ @@@@@ @@@@@ @@@
Mt. Holz Science Fiction Society
Club Notice - 9/3/99 -- Vol. 18, No. 10
Chair/Librarian: Mark Leeper, 732-817-5619, mleeper@lucent.com
Factotum: Evelyn Leeper, 732-332-6218, eleeper@lucent.com
Distinguished Heinlein Apologist: Rob Mitchell, robmitchell@lucent.com
HO Chair Emeritus: John Jetzt, jetzt@lucent.com
HO Librarian Emeritus: Nick Sauer, njs@lucent.com
Back issues at http://www.geocities.com/Athens/4824
All material copyright by author unless otherwise noted.
The Science Fiction Association of Bergen County meets on the
second Saturday of every month in Upper Saddle River; call
201-447-3652 for details. The Denver Area Science Fiction
Association meets 7:30 PM on the third Saturday of every month at
Southwest State Bank, 1380 S. Federal Blvd.
===================================================================
1. Relax, this is my final week on sausaging, the practice of
chopping things up finely, forming them, and pretending they were
the original item.
I used to throw boomerangs. Boomerangs are an example where you
have the sausage issue. I used to get my boomerangs from
Australia. They were made of wood and hand-carved. You knew you
had a piece of quality in your hand. But then a company with the
dignified name Wham-o, best known for making hula-hoops and
Frisbees, started making boomerangs out of plastic. I tried a
plastic boomerang. They work but they are sausage all the way.
The difference is like that of a good steak or a cheap hot dog.
They had made it from what was essentially decomposed animal
remains rather than from a living, noble tree. They didn't plane
it. They vacuum-formed it. It took all the fun out of the sport.
Every day we see more and more creeping sausagism. Consider fish
sticks, Tator Tots, fruit rollups, and turkey loaf. And let's not
even mention gefilte fish. Please.
Next time you order French fries and get deep-fried mashed potato
sticks (as I think happens at a certain unidentified restaurant
chain I will simply call _urger _ing) just remember what I told
you. Sausaging is just another sacrifice we are being asked to
make in our environment. It is one more step away from nature and
down the road of an artificial and plastic life.
Primitive man did not have this problem, you know. He took things
pretty much as he got them from nature. He might do some chipping
to make a tool by forming a stone, but the rock was still a single
solid piece.
I suppose the first step in the wrong direction seemed like a good
idea at the time. It was probably something like baking bread. I
guess they made one big loaf out of stalks of grain. Ancient Egypt
may have been the first place to do serious sausaging, but if so
they kept it a secret a good long time. We have this image of
perfectly cut stones being assembled by huge numbers of people to
create pyramids. Modern theories say that might not be what
happened at all. The pyramids may have been sausaged. Ground
stone mixed with a sort of cement might have made a fluid that was
then poured into molds. That would explain why the stones fit
together so perfectly. If they were just quickly poured they are
not nearly as impressive are they? But doesn't that take a lot of
the romance out of the pyramids? Of course it should be remembered
that they also invented paper. That was the grinding up of reeds
and forming them into flat sheets to make paper. That qualifies as
sausaging also, I guess. There is nothing particularly romantic
about sausage.
We have to resist this attack on our quality of life. Don't accept
a ground-up and form-fitted substitute for something real. And the
first step is to realize that things like turkey loaf and Pringles
Potato Chips are a degradation in our quality of life. Accept only
real products.
Now see, that was an issue you did not even know existed. [-mrl]
Mark Leeper
HO 1K-644 732-817-5619
mleeper@lucent.com
I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
-- August Strindberg