@@@@@ @ @ @@@@@ @ @ @@@@@@@ @ @ @@@@@ @@@@@ @@@
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @
@ @@@@@ @@@@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @
@ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @
@ @ @ @@@@@ @ @ @ @ @@@@@ @@@@@ @@@
Mt. Holz Science Fiction Society
Club Notice - 03/05/99 -- Vol. 17, No. 36
MT Chair/Librarian:
Mark Leeper MT 3E-433 732-957-5619 mleeper@lucent.com
HO Chair: John Jetzt MT 2E-530 732-957-5087 jetzt@lucent.com
HO Librarian: Nick Sauer HO 4F-427 732-949-7076 njs@lucent.com
Distinguished Heinlein Apologist:
Rob Mitchell MT 2E-537 732-957-6330 robmitchell@lucent.com
Factotum: Evelyn Leeper MT 3E-433 732-957-2070 eleeper@lucent.com
Back issues at http://www.geocities.com/Athens/4824
All material copyright by author unless otherwise noted.
The Science Fiction Association of Bergen County meets on the
second Saturday of every month in Upper Saddle River; call
201-447-3652 for details. The New Jersey Science Fiction Society
meets irregularly; call 201-652-0534 for details, or check
http://www.interactive.net/~kat/njsfs.html. The Denver Area
Science Fiction Association meets 7:30 PM on the third Saturday of
every month at Southwest State Bank, 1380 S. Federal Blvd.
1. I had an experience recently to which I have given some
thought. Evelyn and I were visiting with some other couples. And
I was telling a story about something that happened to me. I don't
remember exactly what the story was, but it involved wearing socks.
(Gee, how many stories could I have about wearing socks?) Anyway,
I was saying that I went for some socks and realized that I was
out. At this point in the story I seem to have hit a hot button in
one of my listeners. One of the women in the group looked at me
accusingly and said, "Well, YOU know where the washing machine is."
Well, what do you say at a time like that? "Well, ha-ha, that is
not really the point of my story?" "Hey, I do my share around the
house." Anything I could say at that point would seem defensive
and lame. After a moment or two Evelyn broke in and said pretty
much the same thing that I would have, but not so defensively. She
told our friend that I really do my share. (In fact, we each seem
to think that it is the other person who does more around the
house.) On the whole Evelyn and I are both reasonably satisfied
with the equity of the breakdown of work in my house. Now if
Evelyn had said that the toilets need cleaning would this woman
have indignantly told her "you know where the toilet brush is?" I
doubt it. I doubt anyone would have jumped to my defense. Many
times in the past Evelyn has kidded me about my foibles in front of
these people, or berated me over a stain on my shirt, or something
of the sort and not once has anybody ever jumped in to the
conversation to defend me. There is, I suppose, some remnant of
the code of chivalry that says that men do not enter into
disagreement with ladies, and that they defend them instead. And
no male wants to be associated with this stereotype of being the
male chauvinist who callously abuses women. On the other hand
there is this belief among women that they need to band together
and defend each other in sisterhood. There is a fortress mentality
that women are constantly besieged by men and must constantly be
looking for examples and fighting back. I do not really blame this
woman since I am sure she has been told that this is appropriate
even necessary behavior, but if this is not bias and prejudice I
have to say that it comes out looking a lot the same. It is hard
to tell from the old beliefs that "us whites have to stick
together."
And this belief that women have to stick up for women no matter
what shows up elsewhere. We had a diversity meeting at work a
while back and in it there was an exercise. The men were sent to
at easel at one end of the room, the women were sent to one at the
other. Somehow diversity meetings always seem to involve people
writing at easels. The exercise was to have each group list facets
of how the work environment would be different if the proportions
of men and women were reversed. Each side labored over lists
thinking of the various characteristics they had perceived in women
and in men workers. A lot of this was dredging up the positive
stereotypes that we had gotten from previous diversity meetings,
positive stereotypes were thought to combat negative ones. When we
were all done the men's easel listed a collection of projected
changes. If one removed the entries that were neutral then men's
list was something like 75% positive, 25% negative. If one looked
at the women's easel, if one ignored the neutral changes, the
differences were 100% positive.
Now most peole would have left things like that. But as I
suggested to the class, let us consider the answers in another
light. Let us consider this an exercise in how ready, willing, and
open-minded each gender was toward working with the other. The
males had given answers that (after eliminating the neutrals) were
75% positive on the other gender 25% negative. The females had
under the same restriction given answers that were 0% positive,
100% negative. Now both sets of answers were probably skewed by
the fact that this was a diversity meeting and it was more or less
expected that you should be saying things positive on women and
negative on men, particularly white males. On the other hand,
nobody says that everyone has to cooperate at these meetings
either. Some people do stand up for their principles and go
against the flow.
I still get mail from women with signature files that say things
like "What do you call a handcuffed man?" "Trustworthy." I will
tell you the truth, because believe it or not I do keep track of
this sort of thing for diversity meetings. I have been told in the
1990s exactly one joke insulting to women and told to me by a man.
That sort of thing has gone out of style, I suppose, and that is
not at all a bad thing. But we still see a flood of jokes with an
anti-male bias and it still comes from women who think that they
are crusaders fighting for a better day. They feel that of course
there are just a huge number of anti-female jokes out there and
they have a right to counter them. In fact the vast majority of
gender-bashing I have heard, just like the vast majority of
profanity on the job, has come from the gender who supposedly is
offended by such things.
I think we have to decide if we are really moving toward equality
by encouraging or even acquiesing to what some may consider is a
groovy and corrective bigotry on some people's parts. [-mrl]
Mark Leeper
MT 3E-433 732-957-5619
mleeper@lucent.com
Martyrdom is the only way in which a man can become
famous without ability.
-- George Bernard Shaw
(in days prior to the
invention of the
Internet)
THIS PAGE INTENTIONALLY LEFT ALMOST BLANK