Insofar as Her Majesty's Government proposes to spend vast amounts of money on community projects and public works in order to celebrate the impending millennium, we feel it is only equitable that the science fiction fan community should get its share of the loot have the opportunity to participate in this noble endeavour. We present below a carefully considered proposal for such a programme.

Most importantly, we feel that the Millennium Dome should reflect fandom's role as part of the broader community [some of us are much broader -- Ed]. This can be achieved by a small enhancement, as illustrated in the detailed blueprint attached.

As part of the programme of publicly sponsored sculpture, we recommend that a magnificent statue, The Demon of the North, be constructed on a prominent hillside between Leeds and Keighley.

The millennium provides a natural opportunity for celebration. In fandom, our celebrations are conventions. We therefore propose the following support for cons:

• A new annual public holiday on the first Monday in November, to be known as Novacon Day.
• Increased NHS funding for research into the effects of a combination of sleep deprivation and alcohol abuse.
• Setting up a special centre of filking excellence in a soundproof building on Rockall.

Fandom recognises the special nature of the British agriculture industry, and wishes our proposal to support it. We think this can best be handled through a national programme of increased planting of the essential fannish crops of barley, coffee, hemp and twiltone.

In order to recognise the fundamentally spiritual nature of the millennium, the fountains in Trafalgar Square will run with Laphroaig for the year.

Naturally, we have not omitted to include the other areas of the United Kingdom in this proposal, and the following items will give it a truly national scope:

• Oblique House in Northern Ireland to be made a national monument and home of the British Olympic Ghoodminton team, affiliated to the National Sporting Academy.
• Scotland to be sprayed with the new pesticide SMOF-Away to extirpate all traces of Worldcon infestation. Further treatment may also be required in York, Bromley and Oman.
• The establishment of a National Reproductive Museum and centre of excellence for Gestetner repairs in Folkestone.
• Chair of fanzine criticism at Caprine University, Croydon, to initially be held by Michael Ashley. This will lead to the regeneration of Croydon as the Leeds of the South.
• The doshes of Haverfordwest to be ceremonially distimmed by the local gostak.
• The establishment of a national pub-crawl network, making it possible for the dedicated fan to proceed from Land's End to John O'Groats without ever sobering up.

It should be noted that the timescales for this programme are more generous than for most other millennium activities, as due to the special nature of the SF fan community, these celebrations will not take place until 31 December 2000, the start of the third millennium.