The family also buried the umbilical cord underneath a rowan tree in the garden as part of the ceremony, in a traditional pagan ritual traced all the way back to The Wicker Man.
Meanwhile, questions have been asked in Parliament. A mad MP described the programme as "encouraging cannibalism" and demanded that it be banned.
Remember folks, you read it here first.
Gail Courtney ponders the dangers of having a nickname that starts with an unusual letter of the alphabet. And who sawed her boat, anyway?
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