Plokta Issue 4 - The Ploktacard(TM)

The Ploktacard(TM)

Plokta has always prided itself on being at the cutting edge of fannish developments. Thus we are thrilled to be the world's first fanzine to offer an affinity card -- the PLOKTACARD^TM. After all, Trekkies have had one for years. And, as a reader of Plokta, we know that you are a person of taste and discernment. Well, either that or you're about to be featured in the Great Plokta Mailing List Cull.

The PLOKTACARD^TM offers a range of benefits which we consider to be unparalleled. As a cardholder, all of the following facilities would be available to you.

You have the opportunity to participate financially in a Plokta cabal refreshment break. Two pints of bitter, please.
You will be able to vote for Plokta in the 1997 Hugo awards (subject to being a member of LoneStarCon2. Void where prohibited by WSFS. Batteries not included.)
You can be one of the first people in your fandom to be a Division Head for the forthcoming "Britain in 2003 - We don't need no steenking life" Worldcon bid.
You may note in your colophon that your fanzine is "By Appointment to the Plokta Cabal".
Your PLOKTACARD^TM can be used to open Yale locs.
No Annual Fee!
Low, low interest rate of 0% APR!

Sadly, due to tedious legal difficulties, you cannot actually use your PLOKTACARD^TM to buy anything or to get any form of credit. But we think this pales into insignificance when compared with the other merits of the card.

A RANGE OF UNIQUE DESIGNS!

Yes, when you apply for the PLOKTACARD^TM, you can choose from this range of tasteful card designs produced for our exclusive use by Sue 'No More Sodding Moose' Mason.

l. Emperor penguins basking on an Antarctic Idyll	2. The Enchanted Duplicator	3. Clangers, including the Soup Dragon.

4. A chipmunk in cyberwear.	5. A moose wearing a nun's habit skipping over the Austrian Tyrol. With edelweiss.

Of course, we can't make these unprecedented benefits available to just anyone. Like any self-respecting affinity card, we operate a credit scoring system. In our case, it's street-credit scoring. Please fill in the following questionnaire which has been designed using the latest interactive customer focused psychological techniques.

Have you voted in the Novas?		Have you sent a loc to Plokta?
	Yes		Yes
	No		No
	What's a Nova?		What's a loc?
	I come from Leeds.		I come from Leeds.

What's your view of superfluous technology?		How did you get into fandom?
	You can have too much of a good thing.		I joined the BSFA.
	I had one once but I threw it away.		I came to the Eastercon.
	It can't be superfluous if it's technology.		Greg Pickersgill sent me a bunch of old fanzines.
	I subscribe to T3.		I went to a media con, but I don't like to talk about that these days.
	I come from Leeds.		I come from Leeds.

Who's your favourite Babylon 5 character?		How are you at the Astral Pole?
	Ivanova		Can do it quickly
	Sheridan		Can do it on a good day
	What's a Babylon 5?		I am D West
	This is a serious piece of televisual SF and it's ludicrous to talk about favourite characters.		I am Pat McMurray
			What's an Astral Pole?

Which card design do you want?
	Penguins
	Enchanted Duplicator
	Clangers
	Chipmunk
	Moose

Your email address:

[You won't be added to any mailing list, and your email address will not be passed on to anyone outside the Plokta cabal.]

Now return this questionnaire with your name and address to Plokta HQ, and if your street-credit score is sufficiently high a PLOKTACARD^TM will be yours.

-- Mike Scott

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