Year of the Wombat passed in an alcoholic haze, and I found myself sitting in the bar, seriously considering the possibility of going to Lazlar Lyricon II next year. We'd had a lot of fun doing their music quiz, trying to identify lyrics like 'come with me, lesbian seagull' (hard), 'you are the king of the divan' (easier) and 'madness takes its toll' (trivial). "It'll be much like this," enthused Rob Newman. "Lots of fun, silly games, same people, you know..." "But, but..." I prevaricated, holding the flyer gingerly by one finger, "it's a bit of a... a... media convention, isn't it?" "But the first con was terrific!" explained Rob. "Everyone was either a human or a Vogon, and they had different badges, and all the games etc. pitched humans against Vogons, and it was great fun."

Wombat, Two Bat, Red Bat, Blue Fish

I allowed as how this did sound quite funny. "But it's so expensive" said Mike Scott, who was listening in. "Yes," explained Rob. "It's £25 really, but we're charging £30 to non-ZZ9 members, to encourage them to join ZZ9, which only costs £6. So for an extra pound, you get all of the benefits of ZZ9 membership." I gave him a Paddington hard stare. "Personally, I think I would rather choke on my own vomit than join a Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy fan club," I bristled. "It's amazing how many people have that reaction, you know," said Rob. "Nevertheless," said Mike, "it does sound good. Why aren't you holding it here again if it'll be the same people going?" He gestured at the gothic splendour surrounding us. "Ah," explained Rob, "there wouldn't be room here. You see, as it's a proper HHGTTG convention, there'll be scads of teenage hitcher fans..." He suddenly trailed off, realising what he had said. We gave him back his flyers.

--Alison Scott