The heat, the dust, the flies, and that's just Steven's cycling shorts... The mercury is straining at the top of the thermometer, they're frying eggs on the pavements, and your humble editors are trawling the Internet for new warm-weather clichés. Outside can be heard the distant sound of native drums as Metallica play the Reading Festival. Meanwhile, the Plokta cabal guzzles champagne and caviar while bathed in the gentle calm of the Vraidex air conditioning systems. It's not that the people needed cooling down, but the computers were in danger of melting.

We have news. Alison has been promoted again, from satsuma to clementine. Jokes about herring boxes will not be appreciated. She's also passed her driving test, so I'd keep off the North Circular if I were you. Giulia's got a new job with a company that makes squidgy mice, Steve & Mike have exciting new technology, and Steven's commuter if now udder come pleat voice can't troll. And Marianne has got teeth! Well, a tooth, anyway.

Meanwhile, we urge Plokta readers to do their bit for TAFF, either by voting or with donations of money or goods for auction. As far as this year's race goes, we were pleased to see four fine candidates, and pleased to note that we trade for Plokta with all of them. From this excellent field, Plokta supports Vicki Rosenzweig. Dr. Plokta, on the other hand, supports Victor Gonzalez, remarking "us staff writers have to stick together".

We're also looking forward to Corflu, though are unsure about the title. We'd like to see a string of fanzine conventions reflecting the reality of modern British fanzine editing. The first one would be run by the Plokta cabal and would be called Backspace. Others in the series might be Global Search and Replace, Killfile, ^H and Goat.

Finally, we should include the now-compulsory Non-Guillemotting Disclaimer. The editors of this fanzine are not guillemotting each other, but refuse to disclose whether they are guillemotting anyone else.