ALL HAIL THAT SYMBOL OF MAN'S NOBLE ENTERPRISE; MANUAL LABOR: We feel a fellowship with Gutenberg, Ben Franklin, Walt Willis, and Lloyd Eshbach's robot. We have just finished our first three hours (at a dollar an hour) in the printing business. That is, we have a job for three days, counting today, feeding a platen press (as opposed to a pants press). It is a ghlorious machine, this press, with a sole purpose in life of chasing yed like some bug-eyed monster (the machine, not yed). As we slip a sheet of paper into its gaping jaws, those lead teeth come chomping down with the intent of chawing alphabet shaped holes in our typing finger and the hand to which it (and we) be so attached for these nineteen years. Fortunately, so far, we have managed to jerk our meat hooks out of the way, and stand horrified as the Machine swallows the virgin white paper, gnaws at it, and spits up a blank to be filled in by the school children of Chatham County. Unfortunately this Beast only has a short time in which to accomplish its foul deeds. Our job will be finished Sunday and no doubt so will we.
If this ish of Q is late, you can blame its tardiness on (among other things) the fact that for some strange reason we don't feel like dashing upstairs and mimeoing a few hundred pages, after a hard day bending over a hot platen press. (Also, we've been a bit lazy about this ish. Guess the Nolacon spoiled us. Gor', fans ... all over the place ... everywhere we looked ... fans ... don't guess we'll ever get over it!)
We mentioned some plans to change Q's policy to some of you. Well, right now those plans are so indefinite they practically don't exist. Until further notice the only changes in the policy of Q are (1) a price to the British and (2) 5¢ a copy more to US fans. Overseas fans send 6 shillings to Walt Willis - 170 Upper Newtownards Rd - BELFAST, Northern Ireland, for a year's supply of Quandry. US fans send $1.50 to yed for the same quantity.
For action photos of the Nolacon write to W. Max Keasler - 420 So 11th St - Poplar Bluff, Mo. Max also pubs a terrific fmz titled Fanvariety. It comes complete with fotos of fans, lithographed covers, and a multitude of other features well worth the money.
We saw The Man From Planet X. We would review it but every time we think of it we are convulsed with hysterical laughter .....
We suggest The Day The Earth Stood Still, which will probably be the norm for A-stfilms and When Worlds Collide, another of Pal's Primers In Science-Fiction, a documentary like Destination Moon. WWC is enjoyable and the technical work is good but the ending is strictly from Iowa. Still Stf is stf and you can't expect a medium like the movies to give you "perfection". Don't see this'un if you can't stand a movie without tremendous conflict, dark intrigue, and cheesecake.
We also suggest the Chicon II in '52 -- suppose they'll call it Chicon II -- dunno for sure tho. And right now San Francisco looks like a good bet in '53.
Oh, no!
THE CASE OF THE LITTLE GREEN STENCILS: Sez over there that we had already cut this stencil when we cut that'n. Well, we had ... then as we went to mimeograph we discovered that we couldn't find page 4. As we recall there was nothing worthwhile on that other page 4 anyway.
Our thanks to Forry Ackerman. He has supplied us with eight or so inches of rare and wonderful fanzines dating back to the thirties. The stack includes several Slan Shack publications, a mess of old Shaggies and a lot of other wonderful stuff. All this and egoboo too. Thanks again to Forry Ackerman, a swell guy.
On the subject of swell guys we'd like to mention Bob Bloch. Bob saved us 4 stencils, 400 sheets of paper and a lot of work, that we could have lost through an act of carelessness. Also he is a nice guy. Thanks to Bob Bloch.
On the other hand, nuts to Max Keasler. Max has gone and put out an issue of Fv which looks really terrific. We haven't read all of the interior yet but we've looked at the pictures on the cover and they are swell. They are a selection from the Nolacon pics Max took. In one corner is a posed pic of Tucker and m'self. In the opposite corner is a snapshot of Moskowitz, Schultheis, Paul Cox and Nick Falasca. In the mddle is a pic of m'self, Lee Jacobs and Frank Kerkhof. Lee and Frank are reading aloud from the Quannish (Tragedy of F. McCainius) while I listen gleefully. Under that is a snap of Dietz at that party in 770. Under that is a group foto including that fabulous character, Harry the Bee. Off in another corner are the Little Monsters; Hickman, Macauley and Guthrie. Under it is a foto of those 15 year old twin brothers, with yed and The Ol' Foo. And if you're a glamour-fancier there's a corner full of real fancy glamour, namely Bea Mahaffey, the prettiest editor in the business. Whole mess of other people and vice versa on the cover too. Fifteen fotos all together. And all for 15¢, or a dollar a year from Max Keasler - 420 So 11th Poplar Bluff, Mo.
We repeat, nuts to Keasler.
Coming up in Q#15 is another account of that fracas in 770 by Rich Elsberry. Personally we would like to see accounts of that party by Guthrie, Walthers, Bishop, and Dietz.
Are you a member of FAPA? If you aren't, you don't know what you'll be missing in the next few mailings. If you're not a FAP you should write to Charles Lee Riddle PNi, USN, Fleet All Weather Training Unit Pacific, FPO, San Francisco.
WHAT WON'T THEY THINK OF NEXT DEPT: From Eric Frank Russell's "... And Then There Were None,"-(heartily endorsed by the FanAvoidistAssoc.)- ((asf, June '51))
"... a contraption vaguely resembling a motorcycle. It ran on a pair of big rubber balls and was pulled by a caged fan."
NOTE: No back issues of Quandry are available! The only ones we have on hand are a handful of Quannishes all of which have been spoken for. So don't write asking for bacopies. We just ain't got 'em.
"I had one grunch but the eggplant over there."
Chaos the second
The reason for our price boost is The Thing Upstairs, a used Speed-O-Print with ink-stained ?????, retouched paint, and a tremendous appetite for paper, which it chews into little pieces and spits all over the attic. When we have sold 700 copies of Q at 15¢ each and made back the $35 the machine cost us ... make that ?????, we have shot at least a buck on learning to feed that Thing ... we will set the price back at 10¢ each ... unless something else comes along.
Fifty percent of the money that comes in to Willis on British subs will go to the next British convention, so don't spare the shillings. The other 50% will go to whatever we decide we want that can be bought over there cheaper or easier than over here.
Please note: All British subbers who have been receiving Q on the old basis have been credited with 1 year subs. We ask that you with whom we are trading fmz continue to trade.
Right now our plans for the next ish of Q shape up as follows: Veneble, Watkins and Keasler on that subject so dear to their hearts - Sims, Morse, Mebbe Tucker, and others on the convention in N.O. plus another Harp That Once or Twice. For Q#16 we expect a chubby letter section, that article from Tucker if it isn't in #15; any late comers in the line of Con comments, plus the regular features. Someday we will carry an installment of File #13 ... that is, if Old Age doesn't sweep Boggs away before he finishes it. Just what will be in #17 we dunno. In fact we can't even promise the above. We only plan it. Watch Quandry, the fanzine that changes plans every hour on the hour!
Someday in the future we hope to have an article by Fred Hatfield on MYOB which is one of fandom's newest and most exclusive APAs, and Avoidism, from Philosophy to Science or Deep Thought from the French Quarter. To those of you interested in Avoidism, the Hope of Mankind, we suggest In One Head and Out The Other by Roger Price. This book has pictures for those who cannot read. Among the subjects covered in it are "Philosophy, Man's Last Hope", "Man's First Mistake, The Wheel", "The Workings of the Human Mind in the Head", and "How Girls and Other Types of Women Can Avoid Men Who Annoy Them In Public Places, and Teach Them A Well-Deserved Lesson." The book was pubbed by Simon & Schuster and there id a $1 paper-bound edition. It is "A Book For People Who Just Want To Lie Down."
On looking over the stencils for the issue we are appalled by the utter chaos and confusion in this issue. Then we realize that it merely reflects our own state of mind at present. For instance the next page was written before this page and contains some stuff that we thought we had forgotten to put in, so we squeezed it into this page. Then there is the affair of the drawing by Jack Speer on page 28 ... not to mention the page of St Charles sights that is wandering around loose somewhere in the back of the issue. We cry. But then what did you expect this month ... Come back next month and we'll see about straightening out some of this mess and presenting a readable fanzine in the Q tradition. ((?))
You will note one thing. We have managed to keep that Certain Irish Fan out of this issue. Er - no, we didn't. He got in under Where To Send Sub Money if You Are British. Oh well ... it doesn't matter anyway 'cause he'll be here next issue just like always ...
Confusedly we bid you a fond "????? to Fandom" and vice versa. And if you bought this as a sample copy, please give us another chance ....... when we've recouperated from the Nolacon mebbe ...
The fourth page of editorial mish-mosh ....
Well, now that we have the official-type business out of the way, let's get down to the smoke-filled room type stuff.
At the con we solicited a number of short reports on Con-incidents. Fans being what they are, these reports will probably be trickling into the editorial office for the next six months, so those of you who we didn't get to approach in person are welcomed to write them too. We'll pub them along as we get them.
If some of these reports arrive in time for this issue, they will appear herein, this being our convention issue. But most of this ish will be a first person report by yed which will serve as a vehicle for the multitude of li'l people we collected at the convention. Those li'l people marked with an asterisk are drawn from life. The only changes have been made for emphasis or identification purposes. Believe it or not, they really happened! ((You who have attended cons before will have no difficulty in believing them, but isolated fans who have never observed their fellows in action may wonder.))
Those marked with a box like this /_/ or [_] are from the fertile imaginations of yed, Lee Bishop and others.
Those unmarked were missed in the marking and should be brought to the attention of yed.
All have their basis in truth. And all were rendered by yed, unless otherwise specified.
In recounting our wild adventure we will use an extremely informal approach. Covering a con like the Nolacon from a formal approach might be all right for some people, but not for us. So if the major portion of this Q sounds like an APAzine, you are forewarned.
(illo: TIME PASSES)
Now it is several days later and in these days we have acquired a cold of magnificent proportions and a mimeograph. The mimeo is a used Speed-O-Print. We hear the snorts in the background ... well, we wanted an ABDick machine, but there wasn't one available in town within our price range, so we took the Speed-o-print and the promise that we could trade it in on an ABDick when one was available.
The cold on the other hand is new and is completely ours. But we are willing to trade it if we get the right offer. Any comers?
We suggest as reading technique that you read the wrote words first and then look at the pictures, referring back to the wrote words whenever necessary. That way you should be able to spread about ten minutes of reading matter over many happy hours.
Of course if you were in attendance at the con in question, try looking at the pictures first. Then refer to the printed matter.
Be forewarned that this issue of Quandry is not in our usual style or format. It is a mish-mosh; a conglomeration resulting from a Convention, FAPA, and an overdose of LeZ, not to mention a new mimeo and a cold.
... Hence! Home ye idle creatures! ..
Data entry by Judy Bemis
Updated September 27, 2015. If you have a comment about these web pages please send a note to the Fanac Webmaster. Thank you.