It is not infrequent that a fan will find himself being followed by marigated members of the order Proboscidea, commonly known as elephants. Often the fan will find that one or more of these mammals has taken a fancy to him and desires to make its permanent home with him. A kind and understanding fan will not reject the domestically inclined pachyderm. Instead he will open his home to the animal.
There is no finer household pet than a friendly elephant.
It is advised that if the pet-desiring fan is an apartment dweller, he obtain a young elephant to begin with as full grown members may not fit in the elevator. It is also advised that the fan give the animal a room of its own, or a corner of the family bedroom which it can come to think of as its own special place. This 'special place' should be provided with an adequate sandbox or it will be necessary for the fan to 'walk' his pet several times a day.
Once the new addition to the family has been established in the home, the fan may desire to teach him a few entertaining tricks, to amuse company. One very amusing trick is to have a friend lie on his back on the floor and have the elephant place his foot on the friend's nose. This trick is suggested only if the fan involved has an abundance of friends...and a linoleum floor covering.
Another amusing trick that will have the fan's lady friends oh-ing and ah ing is hat removing. Bring 'Junior' into the living room and point out a lady wearing a hat. The well-trained elephant should reach out with his trunk and remove the hat, gently. Before choosing a young lady for this stunt be certain that her hat is not pinned on, or you may be forced to make embarassing explanations to the police.
Lee Hoffman
Data entry by Judy Bemis