We've sent you Plokta because:

	You have been insulted in this fanzine
	We're planning to insult you in a future issue
	You have been totally ignored in this fanzine
	It's just not your day
	We want to trade, send us your body
	Please, please, send us a loc, or some fillos, or something. We're desperate. Grovel, grovel, grovel...
	We found your address in a Chinese fortune cookie
	Messages from Mars told us to do it
	You are/have been shagging a member of the Plokta cabal
	A member of the Plokta cabal is deeply attracted to you
	It was that or run another Worldcon
	You like beer, chocolate and computer games. So do we.
	We want a Nova award. Nominate now.
	We're looking for gossip. We hear you're doing something scandalous and we want to print the details
	There's an error in our address database
	Pam Wells told us to do it
	Alison wants your electronic lovechild
	We hear you do a pretty neat fanzine. Draw!
	You are a practitioner of superfluous technology
	Because... No! No! Ia! Ia! Shub Niggurath!.... aaargh!!!