Ask Doctor Plokta

Dear Doctor Plokta, Re Convenient: "Prime numbers of people for a committee include 1,2,5 and 13." I feel obliged to point out that 1 is not a prime number. Yours helpfully,

Steve.Brewster@bristol.ac.uk

Doctor Plokta replies: Plokta is the journal of superfluous technology, but in the interests of superfluous pedantry, I should point out that the editors were using the other meaning of the word prime. Besides, one of the Plokta cabal made the same point as you while we were proofreading issue one, and was promptly suppressed by the officers of the court, in the manner of the guinea pig.

Dear Doctor Plokta, What is the recommended way of dealing with the piles of surplus technology -- large piles of software; floppy disks; hardware components (including an MFM hard disk of 18Mb) -- that accumulate in the living space of those afflicted by Superfluous Technology?

Chris Walton
rainbow.bridge@dial.pipex.com

Doctor Plokta replies: Superfluous technology is supposed to accumulate in the living space of those sufficiently blessed. Obsolete technology, on the other hand, can be sent to Tom Abba, 34 Friezewood Road, Ashton, Bristol, BS3 2AB, who breaks it into bits and gives it a new lease of life in fine works of art. That's what the Plokta cabal does with all of their 486s, 14,400 modems, IDE hard disks, mono laser printers, and so forth.

Dear Doctor Plokta, I was in my executive suite at The Scottish Con at 3 o'clock in the morning when I heard a bleeping tone. After checking my digital watch, my mobile phone, my pager, my laptop computer, my Psion organiser, my alarm clock, the bedside phone, the television, my wallyphone and my pacemaker, I realised it was the fire alarm. Luckily it was a false alarm. If this happens to me again, what should I do?

martin@reading.sgi.com

Doctor Plokta replies: If you carry a portable smoke detector around with you, it will alert you to the presence of a real fire. By -- er -- bleeping.