We've sent you Plokta because:
You have been insulted in this fanzine | |
We're planning to insult you in a future issue | |
You have been totally ignored in this fanzine | |
You sent us a LoC! Wow! Neat! | |
You sent us your fanzine | |
Send us your fanzine; George is out of cat litter | |
You ignored us when we sent you Issue 1; we're not proud | |
We're going to ask you to do something embarassing | |
Under hypnosis, we remembered that you owe us money from a previous life | |
Your name is Claire Goodall, Bridget Hardcastle or Pam Wells & we're still waiting for that article you promised us | |
You named your child Griselda Esmerelda | |
We're desperate | |
Although you've denied being scandalous, we don't believe you, and if you don't tell us we'll invent some | |
Sue's trying to collect the set... | |
Andy Hooper thinks you're a hoax | |
We think Andy Hooper's a hoax | |
Sue thinks you would look good in fishnets and stilettos | |
You live in Scunthorpe, Cockermouth or Penistone and are having trouble getting | |
You are the ubercrappenzimmermeister for Farber Day | |
We could tell you, but then we'd have to kill you |
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